Hum Nat (2008) 19:157–173 DOI 10.1007/s12110-008-9036-2

The Morning after the Night Before Affective Reactions to One-Night Stands among Mated and Unmated Women and Men Anne Campbell

Published online: 19 April 2008 # Springer Science + Business Media, LLC 2008

Abstract Benefits to females of short-term mating have recently been identified, and it has been suggested that women have evolved adaptations for this strategy. One piece of evidence supporting such a female adaptation would be that women find the experience of a one-night stand as affectively positive as men. Individuals (N=1,743) who had experienced a one-night stand were asked to rate aspects of their “morning after” feelings (six positive and six negative). Women were significantly more negative and less positive than men. Although women did not especially view these relationships as a prelude to long-term relationships, they felt greater regret than men about having been “used.” Extra-pair copulations were rated more negatively, but not less positively, than singles’ experiences. There was no interaction between gender and mated status on positivity or negativity. Although, in terms of subsequent affective response, women do not seem well adapted to casual sexual encounters, it may be important to distinguish impelling sexual motivation preceding intercourse from later evaluations of the event. Menstrual cycle changes may also be important in altering the strength and target of sexual motivation. Keywords One-night stand . Mating strategy . Sex differences . Affective reactions Human mating patterns are famously diverse, and evolutionary arguments have been made for essential promiscuity, polygyny, and serial and lifelong monogamy (see Schmitt et al. 2001). The consensus appears to be that morphological evidence is consistent with monogamy combined with opportunistic, short-term relationships (Schmitt 2005a). In empirical work, there has been a lack of operational specificity about the time period that characterizes a “short-term” relationship. It may last for hours, days, or weeks, and some may ultimately progress to a long-term relationship. In this latter case, the demarcation between short- and long-term can only be applied retrospectively. In the current paper, I use the term one-night stand to capture sexual A. Campbell (*) Psychology Department, Durham University, South Road, Durham DH1 3LE, England e-mail: [email protected]

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relationships that progress no further than copulation. Such relationships are not uncommon and have been referred to by other researchers as casual sex or hookups. The expression “short-term relationship” has also been used to refer both to relationships between currently unmated individuals and to extra-pair copulations. The costs and benefits of these two forms of behavior may differ for the two sexes, and this is explored in the current paper.

One-Night Stands Differences in parental investment are argued to calibrate the rewards and costs of shortterm relationships differently for males and females (Trivers 1972). Because of lower obligate parental investment, males can reap considerable benefits in terms of reproductive success by seeking a number of short-term partners. Although there are opportunity costs and the risk of sexually transmitted infection, the net benefit is sufficiently high that, it is argued, sexual selection has resulted in a greater male than female appetite for brief sexual encounters. The evidence is persuasive that men have a more positive attitude toward casual sex (Oliver and Hyde 1993); fantasize more than women about having sex with multiple, anonymous sexual partners (Leitenberg and Henning 1995); desire a greater variety and number of sexual partners (Schmitt et al. 2001); agree to have sex after a shorter time has elapsed (Schmitt et al. 2003); and lower their threshold criteria significantly for short-term as compared with long-term mates (Kenrick et al. 1990; Woodward and Richards 2005). Men agree more strongly than women with such statements as “In general, the first time I have sex with someone is the best” and “I tend to lose sexual interest in a sex partner after a few months of regular sexual intercourse” (Haselton and Buss 2001). Men more than women do not want a casual sexual experience to develop into a lasting relationship (Townsend et al. 1995). Following college hookups, men’s chief regret centers on having chosen an unattractive or undesirable partner (Paul and Hayes 2002). The fulfilment of men’s desire for one-night stands depends on women who are willing to engage in them. Yet according to Trivers’s parental investment proposal, women’s motivation for such encounters appears anomalous. The costs accruing to women include assuming the full burden of parental care, the risk of sexually transmitted disease, and the acquisition of a reputation for easy sexual accessibility that might compromise their desirability as a long-term mate as well as excite hostility from other women. Given such disincentives, early theorists argued that women were not adapted for short-term relationships and that because of evolutionary pressure “to select males who are more likely to stay with them after insemination” (Wilson 1978:129), “it would generally be maladaptive for women to be able to be ‘blinded’ by lust” (Symons 1979:213). Since then, evolutionary benefits of multiple mates have been proposed for females (Hrdy 1981; Jennions and Petrie 2000; Shackelford et al. 2005; Smuts 1985). These include obtaining high-quality genes, increasing the genetic diversity of offspring, promoting sperm competition, extracting immediate resources, confusing paternity (and hence securing benefits from various potential fathers), obtaining protection, and evaluating a mate as a long-term partner. Theorists (Bleske and Buss 2000; Gangestad and Simpson 2000; Schmitt 2005a) now propose that women as well as men employ short-term mating tactics and likely

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possess “dedicated psychological adaptations to short-term mating” (Schmitt 2005a:267). However, the form of these adaptations is thought to differ in men and women. One proposal is that, in contrast to men’s, “women’s psychology of short-term mating appears to center more on obtaining men of high-genetic quality rather than numerous men in high-volume quantity” (Schmitt 2005a:271). Gangestad and Simpson (2000:578) are similarly explicit in their proposal that “females have evolved to prefer males who possess indicators of viability and good condition, that is, adaptive attributes that might be passed on to their offspring through genetic inheritance.” Studies indicate that women place greater emphasis on physical attractiveness in a short-term than in a long-term mate (Gangestad and Simpson 1990; Kenrick et al. 1993, Study 1; Regan 1998; Scheib 2001; Sprecher and Regan 2002), and men with low fluctuating asymmetry attract a higher number of sexual partners and experience a shorter time lapse before sex with a new partner (Gangestad and Thornhill 1997; Thornhill and Gangestad 1994). Others have suggested that “women will place greater emphasis on the assessment process and short-term mates will be tested and evaluated as long-term prospects rather than being end goals in and of themselves” (Buss and Schmitt 1993:221). Shackelford et al. (2004: 407) concur that “Perhaps the best documented benefit of a woman’s short-term mating is the acquisition of a long-term partner.” The suggestion that women use short-term mating as a way of evaluating potential long-term mates is supported by studies that indicate that women’s requirements for character attributes in long-term and short-term mates are quite similar (Sprecher and Regan 2002). Buss and Schmitt (1993) found that women rated the traits “already in another relationship,” “promiscuous,” “unfaithful,” and “sleeps around a lot” as undesirable in a short-term partner. Compared with men, women are more willing to have sex with a hypothetical partner when there is a chance of forming a long-term relationship (Shackelford et al. 2004) and when the partner is described as having good parenting qualities, again indicating that traits desirable in a long-term partner enhance the desirability of a short-term mate (Surbey and Conohan 2000). Have women evolved adaptations to short-term mating? The criteria for establishing an adaptation are, rightly, numerous and stringent (Andrews et al. 2002). Nevertheless, an initial step is to examine emotional feelings of pleasure or displeasure with regard to the behavior in question (Buss 1989). “Feelings are evaluative qualia whose pleasantness or unpleasantness has evolved to reflect benefits or threats to gene survival. If toxins tasted sweet, and sugar evoked a bitter taste, then our survival would be in jeopardy” (Johnston 2003:175). If women have adaptations for short-term mating, then although they should engage in one-night stands less often than men because of their more stringent selection criteria, they should have a positive affective response to the experience. Despite the near theoretical unanimity that women as well as men are adapted for short-term mating, studies that have examined women’s evaluative or emotional responses to the one-night stand experience are not unequivocally supportive. After a college hookup, women experience greater regret and disappointment and lower levels of pride and satisfaction than men (Paul and Hayes 2002). Compared with their male peers, college women who have had a high number of sexual partners report significantly greater postcoital concern about how the partner feels about them, are more worried that the partner will not call, and make more attempts to

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control their feelings of dependency (Townsend 1995; Townsend et al. 1995). Townsend et al. (1995:38) have suggested that women with a high number of partners “begin to realise that coitus itself produced feelings of bonding and vulnerability, and these feelings were difficult to suppress.” Haselton and Buss (2001) found that, immediately after first coitus with their partner, college women experienced a significantly stronger rise in feelings of love, emotional involvement, and commitment than men. However, as the authors acknowledge, this study did not examine feelings in the context of a one-night stand. Anticipated responses to sexual rejection after a one-night stand are significantly more negative in women than in men (de Graaf and Sandfort 2004). Indeed, men actually anticipated experiencing stronger positive than negative emotions following the “rejection.” The present study examines men’s and women’s responses to one-night stands that they have actually experienced rather than the more usual hypothetical or vignette paradigms. It examines both benefits and costs, disaggregating them so that it is possible to examine more specifically the dimensions on which feelings of pleasure or displeasure rest. While previous studies have focused on women’s disappointed desire for a long-term relationship, the present study includes other sources of concern, including health, exploitation, notoriety, and self-esteem risks. Benefits are also specified, including sexual satisfaction, increased self-esteem, establishment of one’s mate value, and enhanced reputation.

Extra-Pair Copulations (EPCs) The benefits of one-night stands largely overlap for mated and unmated men. However, the associated costs are higher for mated men. Under contemporary conditions of imposed monogamy, discovery poses risks to the continuation of their current long-term union and loss of contact with children, in addition to sexual health risks. For women also, many suggested benefits are common to mated and unmated individuals: gene quality, gene diversity, sperm competition, and extraction of immediate resources. For mated women, there are additional potential benefits of avoiding infertility (as a result of their long-term mate’s impotence, poor sperm quality, or gene incompatibility) and the possibility of securing a mate replacement or back-up. However, as with men, mated women face greater costs than unmated women. EPCs pose the considerable risk of violence from her long-term partner if discovered, in addition to the costs of single motherhood, reputational damage, and contracting sexual diseases. The psychological effects of EPCs, including guilt, depression, and the likelihood of divorce, are greater when the wife rather than the husband strays (Beach et al. 1985; Glass 2003). Despite the costs, surveys suggest that 22–25% of men and 11–15% of married women have engaged in extramarital sex (Allen et al. 2005). Motivations include curiosity, desire for variety, sensation seeking, reassurance of desirability, fun, need for power, combating a sense of inadequacy, and escapism (Allen et al. 2005). Not only do more men than women admit to extramarital affairs, but they are more likely to desire them, more active in seeking EPC partners, less disapproving of such relationships, and have a larger number of such affairs than women (see Allen et al. 2005). Echoing these findings, Greiling and Buss (2000) in a vignette study found

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that men were judged significantly more likely than women to have an affair in 17 of 47 different contexts. Women were judged more likely to have an affair only if the EP partner wanted a committed relationship. Other research substantiates this: While men emphasize the sexual dimension of an affair, women emphasize the emotional dimension (Glass and Wright 1985, Spanier and Margolis 1983), and women are more likely to engage in affairs that encompass both facets of intimacy. Men justify their infidelity in sexual rather than emotional terms, while the reverse is true for women (Glass and Wright 1992). Meyerling and Epling-McWherter (1986) found that men anticipate fewer costs than women (for example, guilt and negative impact on their marriage) and experience less of a deterrent effect of these negative consequences. Conversely, women feel more guilt than men about their affairs (Spanier and Margolis 1983). The present study examines the experience of extra-pair one-night stands by both sexes. Because the potential costs are greater for mated than for unmated individuals, we would expect a more negative evaluation by individuals who are currently in a serious relationship. An interaction between gender and positivity/negativity is also expected. Such a short-lived and purely sexual experience should be more agreeable to men than to women, given the weight placed by women on the emotional dimension of infidelity. In addition, the costs in terms of possible violence and the burden of sole parental care are likely to be greater for mated women than for men. The investigation of sexual relationships poses special methodological problems. Because undergraduate samples are easily accessible, they are most frequently used, but this limits the generalizability of results. In addition, researchers have often employed vignettes or hypothetical scenarios (e.g., Shackelford et al. 2004; Surbey and Conohan 2000; Wiederman and Dubois 1998). The present study employs an Internet sample and questions respondents about their personal experiences of onenight stands. Internet samples provide larger data sets, with consequently greater statistical power, than are typically found in social psychological research. They are also more diverse and representative with respect to gender, socioeconomic status, geographical location, and age. Reliabilities and factor structures for inventories are similar to the paper-and-pencil versions, and gender differences in traditionally administered tests are replicated on Internet samples (Birnbaum 2004). The research questions guiding the present study are as follows: (1) Are there differences between men and women in the positivity or negativity of their morningafter evaluations of one-night stands? (2) Are there differences in the positivity or negativity of the experience between unmated and mated individuals? (3) Is there greater negativity among mated women than mated men?

Method A British television station (Channel 4) mounted the data collection instruments on their web site between December 2004 and February 2005.1 Titled “One Night with 1

Data collection took place during the Christmas and New Year holidays. In the UK, this period is associated with hedonistic excess, but so too is the summer vacation period. The extent to which similar results might be found, for example, after southern European holidays is unknown.

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You,” the introduction explained that the quiz was designed to investigate people’s “next-morning” feelings about one-night stands. The participants were informed that their replies were anonymous and they should answer as truthfully as possible. Instruments The first three questions sought background information. Respondents were asked to indicate their sex, age (5 categories), and sexual orientation (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual). They were then asked whether or not they had “ever had sex with someone you found attractive without the relationship going any further (a one-night stand)?” (Note that, as worded, the question does not discriminate between one-night stands that respondents recognized as such beforehand and those that were one-night stands de facto because no further contact ensued. This might be a useful distinction in future research.) If the response was “Yes,” they were asked if at the time of the one-night stand they were married, cohabiting, in a steady relationship, in a casual relationship, or not in a relationship. To those who had experienced a one-night stand, the following instructions were given: “Please now complete the rest of the questions as they apply to that experience. If you have had more than one such experience, please think of the last occasion. All the questions are about how you felt the next morning when they had gone.” (Those who had not experienced a one-night stand were asked to imagine such a hypothetical scenario and to respond to the questions. These data are not analyzed here.) The 12 questions that followed represented six positive and six negative evaluations of the experience based on evolutionary analyses of male and female sexuality (e.g., Baumeister and Vohs 2004; Daly and Wilson 1983; Geary 1998; Ridley 1993; Symons 1979). Positive items dealt with private feelings (Sexually satisfied and content; Fully alive, an enhanced sense of well-being; More confident about yourself) and public esteem factors (Secretly hoping that your friends will hear about it; Successful because your partner was desirable to other people; Flattered that this person found you desirable). Negative items were about interpersonal relationships (Sorry because you feel that you used another person; Regret because you feel used; Disappointed that the relationship did not come to anything more), private concerns (Regret that you had let yourself down; Scared about a possible pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease), and public reputation (Worried about the loss of your reputation if other people find out). Positive and negative items were interspersed in order of presentation. They were phrased in a gender-neutral way. For each statement, respondents rated their agreement on a four-point scale: Definitely Not (0), Not really (1), Somewhat (2), Definitely (3). At the completion of the questionnaire, participants were invited to offer any further comments on the experience, including whether or not they would repeat it. Participants Responses were received from 3,363 individuals (1,909 men and 1,454 women), of whom 2,956 (88%) self-identified as heterosexual. Homosexual and bisexual

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participants were excluded from the present analysis. Of this heterosexual subsample, 1,743 (59%) had experienced a one-night stand: 998 men and 745 women. Those who were in steady, cohabiting or married relationships at the time of the one-night stand were classified for purposes of analysis as mated (N=399, 23%); this category was composed of 265 men and 134 women. Those who were single or in a casual relationship were considered umated (N=1,344, 77%); this category was composed of 733 men and 611 women. The age distribution for the two sexes was broadly similar: 4% were less than 26 years of age, 42% were age 17–25, 40% were age 26–40, 13% were age 41–60, and 2% were older than 60.

Results The six positive and six negative items showed sufficient internal consistency to treat them as scales in the initial analysis (positivity scale α=.72, negativity scale α=.65). The scores on the six positive and six negative items were summed to give a score between 0 and 18 for each. A three-way analysis of variance was performed with sex and mated status as between-subject variables and the positive and negative scale totals as a repeated measure. There was a main effect for positivity-negativity, F1, 1739 = 282.01, p

The Morning after the Night Before : Affective Reactions to One-Night Stands among Mated and Unmated Women and Men.

Benefits to females of short-term mating have recently been identified, and it has been suggested that women have evolved adaptations for this strateg...
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