the doctor
and the mother instinct By
kiosT mothers recognise the fact, either consciously or subconsciously,
hand?
Mystery Each it
Rnds
new
a
generation
of mothers
constant source of mystery are able to cope far better
'hat they Mth other people's children than with their own. This also applies in the case spinsters, however confident they
feel in their ability to handle junior". Putting theory to practice has Unsuspected snags when they them-
[Hay
selves become mothers.
It is generally accepted that, when animal has had young, it is prudent to give her as wide a berth as possible, ?ince, no matter how docile she may be ?ft the normal way, she is liable to become dangerous should she think her brood is threatened. Why is this difference" not recognised in the human mother? Surely, it is asking a great deal of her to expect her to conform to all the niceties of civilisation when she is being guided by a Primitive force ? I have gone to some length to make point on this subject because I jpy helieve it is a very relevant factor, or should be, in the relationship between
mother
the family doctor and the mother of a child she believes to be sick. It is no secret that children appear to get more fretsome and feverish at night, and the sight of her small child in such a state is a very frightening ordeal for the mother. Most women suffer more cruelly from the threat of illness in their children than from anything else. As one young mother expressed it to me: "When someone or something hurts my son, they hurt me. If someone hits him or tells him off, I can tackle them. If he lacks anything in the material sense, I can go and buy it. I can make sure he gets all the love he needs. But when he's sick, I'm absolutely helpless, having no answer for it, and this terrifies me."
[hat
the process of becoming a mother 'nvolves far more than the simple, Physical act of giving birth. There is *lso a very definite mental change Miich could almost be described as the development of a seventh sense. This change completely alters the mother's ?utlook on life, especially in matters concerning her child, prompting her to Actions about which she would think twice under any other circumstances. ?ven self-preservation, the strongest of human instincts, becomes secondary to this new mother-instinct. It would be a strange mother who deserted the scene of danger without first ensuring the Safety of her offspring. On the other hand, who but a mother could eat, tyith relish, the most nauseating of Besses, extended by a small, grubby
a
Another problem
There is an answer for it, of course, and that is to call the doctor, but, as I have said, the majority of infants appear to need medical care at night, and the thought of calling a doctor at night adds yet another problem to the mother's troubles. Every mother has probably at some time or another had the unpleasant experience of calling the doctor out on what has proved an unnecessary journey, and since she, of all people, is aware of the inconvenience this causes?babies being notorious sleep-breakers?she develops a sense of guilt about it. Unfortunately, too, the doctor is more often inclined to annoyance over his inconvenience than to spare a thought for the genuine fear which has prompted the mother's behaviour, thus adding to her feeling of wrong-doing and making her apprehensive of repeating the action. Her dilemma is not made any easier by the increasing amount of public comment on the part of the medical profession, condemning unnecessary night calls as a symptom of neurosis and low mentality, coupling her with the habitual late-night callers who would do better to 'phone a psychiatrist, a priest, or the Samaritan Service.
247
This admixture of fears and indecision produce a terrible tension in the mother. Is it then any wonder that, by the time a doctor arrives?her mother instinct finally getting the upper hand ?he finds her close to panic? I am not suggesting for one moment that all doctors help to create this mental turmoil. The tendency towards this attitude is, however, becoming more marked, due to the impersonal tones of the Emergency Night Service. Heaven forbid that anyone should begrudge the family doctor the chance to have a night off. Both the system, and the reason for its creation, are excellent. Nevertheless, it is a remote
can
and IMPERSONAL business, and tb{ doctors involved should therefore # very careful that they do not lose o" the human side in the face of it. On the mother's part, I feel that 1 little education in the field of child care during sickness would be invaluable. It would never have any on the mother-instinct, but it would give her a certain amount of control over it, and by removing her helpless* ness, she would feel less frightened. I" the meantime, it would surely lessef her misery if the doctor would bear i" mind the curious mentality exclusive to motherhood, and try to understand her just a little more.
effecj
and the mother instinct By
kiosT mothers recognise the fact, either consciously or subconsciously,
hand?
Mystery Each it
Rnds
new
a
generation
of mothers
constant source of mystery are able to cope far better
'hat they Mth other people's children than with their own. This also applies in the case spinsters, however confident they
feel in their ability to handle junior". Putting theory to practice has Unsuspected snags when they them-
[Hay
selves become mothers.
It is generally accepted that, when animal has had young, it is prudent to give her as wide a berth as possible, ?ince, no matter how docile she may be ?ft the normal way, she is liable to become dangerous should she think her brood is threatened. Why is this difference" not recognised in the human mother? Surely, it is asking a great deal of her to expect her to conform to all the niceties of civilisation when she is being guided by a Primitive force ? I have gone to some length to make point on this subject because I jpy helieve it is a very relevant factor, or should be, in the relationship between
mother
the family doctor and the mother of a child she believes to be sick. It is no secret that children appear to get more fretsome and feverish at night, and the sight of her small child in such a state is a very frightening ordeal for the mother. Most women suffer more cruelly from the threat of illness in their children than from anything else. As one young mother expressed it to me: "When someone or something hurts my son, they hurt me. If someone hits him or tells him off, I can tackle them. If he lacks anything in the material sense, I can go and buy it. I can make sure he gets all the love he needs. But when he's sick, I'm absolutely helpless, having no answer for it, and this terrifies me."
[hat
the process of becoming a mother 'nvolves far more than the simple, Physical act of giving birth. There is *lso a very definite mental change Miich could almost be described as the development of a seventh sense. This change completely alters the mother's ?utlook on life, especially in matters concerning her child, prompting her to Actions about which she would think twice under any other circumstances. ?ven self-preservation, the strongest of human instincts, becomes secondary to this new mother-instinct. It would be a strange mother who deserted the scene of danger without first ensuring the Safety of her offspring. On the other hand, who but a mother could eat, tyith relish, the most nauseating of Besses, extended by a small, grubby
a
Another problem
There is an answer for it, of course, and that is to call the doctor, but, as I have said, the majority of infants appear to need medical care at night, and the thought of calling a doctor at night adds yet another problem to the mother's troubles. Every mother has probably at some time or another had the unpleasant experience of calling the doctor out on what has proved an unnecessary journey, and since she, of all people, is aware of the inconvenience this causes?babies being notorious sleep-breakers?she develops a sense of guilt about it. Unfortunately, too, the doctor is more often inclined to annoyance over his inconvenience than to spare a thought for the genuine fear which has prompted the mother's behaviour, thus adding to her feeling of wrong-doing and making her apprehensive of repeating the action. Her dilemma is not made any easier by the increasing amount of public comment on the part of the medical profession, condemning unnecessary night calls as a symptom of neurosis and low mentality, coupling her with the habitual late-night callers who would do better to 'phone a psychiatrist, a priest, or the Samaritan Service.
247
This admixture of fears and indecision produce a terrible tension in the mother. Is it then any wonder that, by the time a doctor arrives?her mother instinct finally getting the upper hand ?he finds her close to panic? I am not suggesting for one moment that all doctors help to create this mental turmoil. The tendency towards this attitude is, however, becoming more marked, due to the impersonal tones of the Emergency Night Service. Heaven forbid that anyone should begrudge the family doctor the chance to have a night off. Both the system, and the reason for its creation, are excellent. Nevertheless, it is a remote
can
and IMPERSONAL business, and tb{ doctors involved should therefore # very careful that they do not lose o" the human side in the face of it. On the mother's part, I feel that 1 little education in the field of child care during sickness would be invaluable. It would never have any on the mother-instinct, but it would give her a certain amount of control over it, and by removing her helpless* ness, she would feel less frightened. I" the meantime, it would surely lessef her misery if the doctor would bear i" mind the curious mentality exclusive to motherhood, and try to understand her just a little more.
effecj
