JSPR Article

Early adolescents’ ‘‘crushing’’: Pursuing romantic interest on a social stage

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 1–19 ª The Author(s) 2015 Reprints and permissions: sagepub.co.uk/journalsPermissions.nav DOI: 10.1177/0265407515583169 spr.sagepub.com

F. Scott Christopher Sarah J. McKenney Franklin O. Poulsen Arizona State University, USA

Abstract Bredow, Cate, and Huston hypothesize that individuals initiate romantic relationships by engaging in four stages—deciding whether another is attractive, whether to approach that person, how best to initiate contact, and how to build rapport once contact is made. It is unclear, however, whether this model applies to early adolescents’ pursuits of romantic relationships. It is equally unclear whether factors that are a large part of adolescents’ lives, specifically peers and electronic communication, play a role when early adolescents initiate romantic contact. To address these lacunas, we conducted same-sex and same-age focus groups with sixth and eighth graders. Using a grounded theory approach, our findings revealed that these youth made strategic choices to be noticed by potential partners; sixth graders engaged in play-like behaviors, eighth grade girls flirted, and eighth grade boys planned ways to cross paths with girls at school. These early adolescents also texted and used peers to see whether their romantic interests were reciprocated. In fact, peers played active roles by helping to evaluate potential partners. Further, friends of sixth graders were frequently a direct physical influence, pushing partners into hugging and holding hands, while friends of eighth graders were frequently a direct social influence, working to join two individuals even when those involved may not have wanted this. Our findings suggest a need to broaden Bredow et al.’s model to include social influences while also showing that early adolescents use peers and electronic messaging to reduce uncertainty when pursuing romantic interests.

Corresponding author: F. Scott Christopher, Arizona State University, PO BOX 873701, Tempe, AZ 85287, USA. Email: [email protected]

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Keywords Adolescence, dating, early adolescents, relationship formation, relationship initiation, uncertainty reduction

Adolescence is a life stage filled with foundational experiences that contribute to later development. It is not surprising, therefore, that the onset of romantic relationships is one of the hallmarks of this stage (Collins, Welsh, & Furman, 2009; Meir & Allen, 2009), as these experiences help adolescents learn about relationship dynamics. Although romantic experiences are viewed as common and significant occurrences during middle and late adolescence, notable numbers of early adolescents also report that they have had a special romantic partner (Carver, Joyner, & Udry, 2003). Social scientists have explored romantic pairings in adolescence in general, but early adolescents have received less attention in terms of their romantic experiences. Focusing on early adolescents’ romantic experiences is important for understanding the similarities and dissimilarities between these early experiences and those of later life stages. At first blush, similarities would be expected because older adolescents, siblings, and adults frequently serve as role models for these youth (e.g., Feinberg, Solmeyer, & McHale, 2012; Shulman, Zlotnik, Shachar-Shapira, Connolly, & Bohr, 2012). However, early romantic experiences may have unique qualities, given that young adolescents lack experience, are undergoing changes connected with the onset of puberty, and do not yet possess the freedom associated with owning a driver’s license. At the same time, the social context of early adolescents’ romantic interactions are unique in that these youth are transitioning from spending time in sex-segregated peer groups to mixed-sex peer groups (Connolly, Craig, Goldberg, & Pepler, 2004). Although this transition increases the likelihood of romantic interactions (Connolly, Furman, & Konarski, 2000), the role of peers in early adolescents’ pursuits of romantic interests remains unclear. The primary purpose of the present study was to investigate different dimensions of early adolescents’ initiation of romantic pairings. To this end, we explored whether Bredow, Cate, and Huston’s (2008) model of relationship initiation, a model largely developed from research using samples of emerging adults, is applicable to early adolescents. Further, we recognized the unique social context of early adolescents’ romantic pursuits and therefore additionally investigated the role of peers in these early pursuits. Finally, contemporary adolescents rely heavily on texting and other electronic media to communicate with one another (Ling, Bertel, & Sundsøy, 2011). Nonetheless, the role of electronic communication in early adolescents’ initiation of romantic relationships is unclear. Hence, we explored early adolescents’ use of electronic media in pursuing romantic interests. Investigating these different dimensions allowed a clearer picture to emerge of how early adolescents initiate romantic pairings.

Initiating romantic relationships Across time, scholars have offered a number of theoretical frameworks to explain how relationships develop (Surra, Gray, Boettcher, Cottle, & West, 2006). Most frameworks have focused on how two unattached but interested individuals move from first meeting

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to higher levels of commitment. Although these frameworks have been useful, most lack the fine-tuning to conceptualize the very beginning of this process, how unattached individuals initiate relationships. More recently, Bredow et al. (2008) addressed this lacuna by offering a four-stage model of relationship initiation that expanded earlier work by Davis (1973). Similar to conceptualizations of relationship development, their model is based primarily on research involving emerging adults. It is unclear, therefore, whether it can be applied to early adolescents’ pursuit of potential romantic partners. In stage one of Bredow et al.’s (2008) model, individuals decide whether they are attracted to another person. These scholars propose that those who seek short-term relationships will likely assess potential partners on physical attraction and sex appeal, while those interested in longer term relationships will assess others on likelihood of commitment, ability to give love, as well as dependability, and stability (Fletcher, Tither, O’Loughlin, Friesen, & Overall, 2004; Shackelford, Schmitt, & Buss, 2005). We speculated that attraction would play a role in early adolescents’ decisions about who to approach. It is unclear, however, what constitutes short- and long-term relationships for these youth or even if it is an influence at this stage of development. Adolescents vary in how long their relationships last, but longer lasting relationships are more characteristic of older than younger adolescents (Meir & Allen, 2009). At stage two in the model, individuals decide whether to make an overture to the other person. Bredow et al. (2008) speculate that this decision is based on one’s attraction to the other person balanced against one’s belief about the likelihood of success if one decides to approach that person. A lack of information at this stage likely triggers a level of uncertainty (Bredow, Cate, & Huston, 2008). Knobloch (2006) has theorized that uncertainty in this situation can center on one’s self, the other person, and/or the future relationship. Because of this, individuals are motivated to engage in information-seeking strategies to reduce their uncertainty (Afifi & Lucas, 2008; Bredow et al., 2008). Given that romantic pairings frequently arise from early adolescents’ mixed sex groups, and that friends from these groups sometimes introduce individuals to possible romantic interests (Connolly et al., 2000, 2004), we posited that peers played a role in gathering information to reduce uncertainty for early adolescents who are weighing whether to approach someone. In stage three, individuals design a strategy for how best to present oneself after deciding to initiate contact. According to Bredow et al. (2008), individuals choose strategies that make them appear likable, competent, and/or virtuous. These traits build connections with others because they are valued in relational partners. Knobloch, Satterlee, and DiDomencio (2010) suggest that there are two additional dynamics at work in choosing how to present oneself. First, the uncertainty from the previous stage is apt to carry over into this stage as individuals evaluate whether a possible strategy will result in mutual attraction and ultimately a pairing. Uncertainty reduction theory offers that individuals develop means to reduce uncertainty in such interactions (Afifi & Lucas, 2008; Knobloch, Satterlee, & DiDomencio, 2010). Second, choosing any one strategy involves the potential threat of losing face. Individuals experience face loss when a message they receive damages their self-image (Knobloch et al., 2010). In this instance, the threat of face loss would come in the form of rejection (Knobloch et al., 2010). Knobloch (2006) has shown that uncertainty paired with a potential loss of face makes it

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challenging to design a strategy for approaching a romantic interest and influences the type of message sent. We expected the early adolescents in our study to choose approach strategies that would reduce their uncertainty while minimizing their threat of face loss. The fourth and final stage of the model involves building rapport. Mutual selfdisclosure as well as being attentive to and expressing an interest in the other party are frequent ways individuals build relational rapport (Greene, Derlega, & Mathews, 2006; Hess, Fannin, & Pollom, 2007). Bredow et al. (2008) note that not all initiation attempts are successful. Considering whether Bredow et al.’s model is applicable to early adolescents is the basis of our first research question. RQ1: Does Bredow et al.’s (2008) model of First Romantic Encounters apply to early adolescents’ pursuit of romantic relationships?

Adolescence and peers Peers are a dominant influence in the lives of early adolescents. More specifically, peers provide a critical social context from which these youth’s romantic pairings arise (Connolly & McIsaac, 2011). To illustrate, research with ninth and tenth graders reveals that changes in the sex composition of their peer groups is related to the emergence of romantic partnering (Connolly et al., 2000). Early adolescents typically are involved in both same-sex and mixed-sex groups with interactions in mixed-sex groups becoming more frequent as early adolescents develop (Connolly et al., 2004). As the number of mixed-sex peers increases, so does the likelihood of romantic pairings (Connolly et al., 2000). Involvement in mixed-sex groups facilitates meeting romantic partners in two ways. Some adolescents date members within their mixed-sex group, while others meet partners they did not know through friends in these groups. Still it should be noted that not all early adolescents are interested in romantic relationships with the opposite sex. The association between increased mixed-sex interactions and increased romantic pairings most likely applies to heterosexual romantic pairings. Friends can also help adolescents process and evaluate their relationship experiences. To understand how this occurs, it is important to note that early adolescents’ romantic pairings are fluid and undergo rapid shifts (Connolly et al., 2004). They may go from low levels of involvement to intensive levels of involvement and then retreat to no or lower levels of involvement. Throughout these shifts, peers likely represent a safe haven where such experiences can be processed and evaluated. When focusing more specifically on adolescents’ relationship initiation, Brown (1999), as well as Connolly and McIsaac (2011), suggests ways peers are involved. Brown (1999) posited that peer interactions initially orient youth to romantic attractions, and then peers reward romantic pairings by offering an increased status for those who enter into a relationship. Connolly and McIsaac (2011) advance this line of thinking by suggesting that early adolescents first develop infatuations or ‘‘crushes’’ with the onset of puberty. These adolescents then strengthen their ties to friends as they jointly share these infatuations as well as any romantic experiences that follow. Although Connolly and McIsaac do not address this issue directly, we speculated that this sharing

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eventually facilitates information gathering about romantic interests, thereby reducing uncertainty. We further speculated that information gathered by peers could be used to minimize threats of loss of face. We explored these speculations with our second research question. RQ2: What is the role of peers in early adolescents’ pursuits of romantic pairings?

Adolescents and texting Text messaging with cell phones shows dramatic and rapid increases in numbers beginning at 10 years of age and continues throughout the adolescent years (Ling et al., 2011). Ling et al. compared the number of texts sent by adolescents to the number of texts sent by individuals at other life span stages sent over 3 months in a Norwegian city. Adolescents sent the greatest number of texts by far and their texts had certain defining characteristics. Same-sex exchanges were more common than cross-sex exchanges with girl-to-girl exchanges exceeding boy-to-boy exchanges. In addition, cross-sex texting increased beginning at age 10, peaked at age 16, and then decreased across later ages. Gender played a role as well. Boy-to-girl texts by same-age adolescents were close to twice as frequent as girl-to-boy texts. For those aged 12 to 18 years, 60% of the messages boys sent were to girls. Ling et al. punctuated their findings by coining the term ‘‘teen peak’’ to describe adolescents’ intensive use of texting as compared to the use by those who were older. Underwood, Rosen, More, Ehrenreich, and Gentsch’s (2012) work with a U.S. sample of 15-year olds also showed how integral texting has become to adolescents. They gave these teens BlackBerrys and then tracked their texting and voice usage. On average, these adolescents sent 109 texts daily while only engaging in 30 min of phone conversations. In addition, they wanted to be able to receive texts from friends who communicated into the night. Many slept with their phones turned on and placed them near to where they were sleeping, so that they could respond if someone texted them. Clearly, texting plays an important role in the lives of today’s adolescents. This raises the question of the role of texting in adolescent romantic relationships. Blair, Fletcher, and Gaskin’s (2013) qualitative work with 14 to 18 year olds is telling. They asked these adolescents about calling and texting romantic partners, friends, and parents. Overall, youth strongly preferred texting over calling, but Blair et al.’s analysis provided insight into their decision making when faced with the choice of texting or calling an individual. If texting was an option, youth would assess whether the environment placed restrictions on their communication choice. For instance, schools usually forbid texting inside of classrooms even though adolescents frequently ignored these rules. Similarly, texting was preferred when youth were in a group as they were concerned that they might miss out on something if talking on the phone. In other words, the immediacy of the social group placed restrictions on the type of communication that was viable at that time. Adolescents further assessed whether the message content was emotionally laden. Texting was preferred for emotionally laden messages, especially if the adolescents were not comfortable with the message content. For example, early adolescents may send a text message asking another whether that person wants to ‘‘go

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out’’ because a rejection in the form of a text message stating that ‘‘I just want to be friends’’ is easier to manage than a verbal exchange on the phone or face-to-face (Cupples & Thompson, 2010). Returning to Knobloch’s (2006) work on the threat of face loss, we speculated that texting (and other electronic messaging) would be one of the primary choices of communication for early adolescents pursuing a potential romantic partner. Texting gives early adolescents control of the content of the message they send. Further, answers would be received in private, and these youth would be in control of what information they then imparted to friends. Thus, early adolescents would be able to minimize their loss of face with peers if their romantic overtures were rejected. We explored these possibilities when addressing our third research question. RQ3: In what ways do early adolescents use texting or similar electronic messaging when initiating romantic pairings?

The present study We conducted same-sex and same-grade focus groups using students enrolled in the sixth and eighth grade to explore these research questions. We chose to sample from these grades because they represented transition points for early adolescents while still being relatively close in age and development. Sixth graders typically turn 12 years old near or during the school year, likely experience the onset of puberty, and are just entering adolescence. Eighth graders typically turn 14 years old, potentially are more experienced with romantic encounters and are at the cusp of entering into midadolescence by school years’ end. At the same time, both groups have not transitioned into high school so their social environment, and level of personal freedom, are more apt to be restricted to their schools. Thus, sampling from these two groups seems an ideal way to capture early and formative adolescent romantic experiences.

Method Data collection procedures The data were gathered during the winter and spring of 2013 using focus groups. Participants were recruited through two elementary schools and two middle schools, as well as a local Boy’s and Girl’s club. For those participants recruited through the school system, school district approval was obtained and then school principals were contacted. Principals selected classrooms and consent forms were distributed by the teachers of those classrooms to their students. Students were instructed to take the consent forms to their parents and return them in a timely manner. Those participants recruited through the Boy’s and Girl’s club were given consent forms by a regional director. In all cases, parents were informed through the consent forms that their adolescent would receive a monetary incentive of US$10 for their participation. Parents whose adolescent returned consent forms were also asked to fill out a brief demographic survey.

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A total of 52 consent forms were returned. Shortly thereafter, parents were contacted and focus groups were scheduled. Due to scheduling difficulties and the need to balance time constraints with the necessity of having multiple viewpoints, we decided that focus groups would be limited to three to six participants. This resulted in a final sample of 44 participants (8 participants could not be scheduled due to time conflicts). Upon arrival to the focus group sessions, participants were assigned a number and were instructed to read and sign assent forms. To ensure confidentiality, they were informed that they needed to use their assigned numbers rather than names during the discussion, and that they should introduce themselves using this number whenever they contributed for the audio recordings. They were also told not to use any names of specific individuals but to speak generally (e.g., ‘‘a girl I know’’). Finally, they were instructed that anything said in this focus group was to remain confidential, and they were asked to not discuss any sexual behaviors above and beyond hugging and kissing. This last instruction was given due to an assurance provided to schools that discussions would not include talking about sex. The actual focus group began after giving these instructions. Focus groups were conducted using a semi-structured interview format. Specifically, we prepared a list of questions that guided participants to discuss the process of early adolescent relationship formation by sharing personal or observed experiences. Initial questions sought to understand how participants defined a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship as distinct from a friendship. From there, questions focused on how relationships developed starting with initially liking another person, how individuals found out they liked each other, and then how a relationship actually began. Within this developmental process, questions also sought to understand the involvement of peers in the process, the role of different modes of communication, and how participants saw the role of gender. Questions regarding dating activities within relationships, relationship duration, parental involvement, and the effect of relationships on school performance were also posed. Within each focus group, participants were free to develop the conversation within the parameters created by these questions. The present study focused on the part of the discussions related to initiating romantic interests.

Participants The final sample consisted of 44 participants spread across six focus groups. Focus group configurations were as follows: two groups of six, four groups of five, one group of four, and three groups of three. In total, there were 21 sixth graders (10 female, 11 male; Mage ¼ 11.80 years, SD ¼ .41) and 23 eighth graders (10 female, 13 male; Mage ¼ 13.74 years; SD ¼ .62). Twenty-three participants were identified by their parents as White, 13 as Latino/Latina, seven as African-American, and one individual as Native American. Roughly half of the youth (47%) lived in a household where parents reported being married and never divorced. Fewer (16%) lived with a single-never married mother, and 23% were from a divorced or separated single parent household. Eight percent were from a divorced but remarried household, 3% (1 individual) from a divorced living with partner household, and 3% (1 individual) from a single parent widowed household. A total of 36% of participants’ parents reported household income over US$100,000, 30% reported household income between US$60,000 and US$100,000, 31% reported

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household income between US$20,000, and US$50,000, and 3% (1 individual) reported household income below US$20,000.

Data analysis The focus group discussions were transcribed, and the transcriptions were checked for accuracy. Coding the transcriptions was done using the web-based qualitative research tool Dedoose (Dedoose, 2013). A grounded theory approach set forth by Corbin and Strauss (2008) guided the coding process. Each individual participant’s transcript was coded separately. The initial coding structure was developed by the lead author. This was done by reading individual transcripts of the early adolescents as they participated in the focus groups. Primary codes were derived when similar meanings emerged from the responses of a given adolescent as reflected in frequency and/or intensity. The transcript was reviewed again to see whether secondary codes emerged from the responses captured by the primary codes. After this process was complete for the first transcript, it was applied to the second transcript. When new codes emerged from the second or subsequent transcripts, previous transcripts were reexamined to see whether these new codes were present. The coding structure, and the process that allowed new codes to emerge from the data, was then applied by the second and third authors. Throughout this process, any new codes that emerged and questions about applying existing codes were discussed among the three coders. All three authors applied new codes to previously reviewed transcripts. This iterative process allowed the voices of the early adolescence to emerge from the data. For the 44 respondents 1,026 excerpts were isolated and coded. To measure inter-rater reliability, participants who were coded by one coder were randomly selected. The responses from these participants were then coded by a second coder until the second coder had coded 10% of the first coder’s excerpts. Kappas were then calculated across the pairs of coders and ranged from .88 to .91.

Results The focus group discussions revealed insights into the processes involved with early adolescents’ pursuit of romantic interests. Before describing the themes that emerged from the discussions, however, it is best to recognize the social space where young adolescents explore relationships. Adolescents 14 years and younger cannot drive, and the opportunities for private interactions are thereby diminished. Pursuing romantic interests for the youth in our study occurred on school grounds, in parks, and occasionally in malls. Youth texted or used electronic media when at home, but they limited in-person interactions in the presence of their parents. As will be revealed, peers were frequently present and played an active role in the initiation of romantic interests.

Getting noticed The first step toward initiating relationships for early adolescents was getting noticed by the person of interest (n ¼ 38). Getting noticed involved a number of strategies. Some

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youth (n ¼ 16) emphasized the importance of how one presents oneself when trying to attract a potential partner’s attention. Cami (12 years old) offered that, ‘‘I have a little bit of blush and some lip gloss; try and like impress the boy. Smile and be cute.’’ Deon (11 years old) observed that The girls probably like their [the boy’s] face, their body, their eyes, their personality . . . The boys probably do the same and see if they [the girls] are pretty or not, how they communicate, and if they think people are hot and stuff.

Tyrell, a 12-year-old, noted that, ‘‘If you go to school and they don’t think you’re wearing the right clothes, your chances of being with them is lower.’’ These youth shared a view that looking as attractive as possible was a viable strategy for having a potential partner take notice. Part of getting noticed involved interacting or behaving in ways to get the other’s attention (n ¼ 18). Conversations around this topic revealed developmental differences between the sixth and eighth graders. The sixth graders described how they used playlike behavior, thereby demonstrating that this group had one foot in childhood and the other in adolescence. Kiara (12 years old) relates, ‘‘Whenever we usually see them [boys], we’ll kind of like run away or we get scared [others in the group giggle].’’ Natalia (12 years old) described a similar play-like interaction: ‘‘the boy, like plays like little tricks on the girl, like little, like jokes, and . . . ’’ Facilitator, ‘‘Like what?’’ Natalia, ‘‘Like . . . sometimes they will like push your chair, or like . . . like, kind’a like play around you or something and act funny.’’ In contrast, the 14-year olds’ descriptions of interacting with a person they were attracted to had adult-like qualities. Some of the girls, for instance, emphasized the importance of flirting. ‘‘When girls flirt, they are more nonchalant when they do it, sort of like they are more vague’’ (Hillary, 13 years old). ‘‘I can’t make eye contact without giggling, so then there’s a lot of avoiding eye contact, and then touching . . . finding excuses to touch the other’s arm or something like that, or hand’’ (Brianna, 14 years old). Eighthgrade boys described how they would strategically position themselves to cross a girl’s path at school. ‘‘I’ve noticed that sometimes boys will change how they walk around the school, so that they can run across the girl in-between certain hours’’ (Dillon, 14 years old). Collectively, these results show that even at these young ages, youth were engaging in behaviors that increased the chances that a romantic interest would notice them. Presenting one’s self in the best light, and engaging in behaviors aimed at attracting another’s attention, represented strategies these early adolescents chose as the first step toward pursuing a relationship. While the strategies themselves were not surprising as parallel strategies exist in later developmental stages, their emergence and the passion the adolescents showed while discussing them reveal that romantic pursuits are salient for this young age-group.

‘‘Crushing’’ and ‘‘like-liking’’ The stage between being friends and mutually identifying each other as a boyfriend and a girlfriend was distinct in the youth’s views about how relationships develop. They called

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this stage ‘‘crushing’’ and ‘‘like-liking,’’ and the goal of the stage was to see whether one’s romantic interest was reciprocated. As will be shown, the means of pursuing this goal involved strategies that reduced face threat by avoiding in-person interactions and the risk of personal rejection. Instead, youth made strategic choices in how they would communicate their romantic interests to the targeted person that limited this risk. One of the most common strategies used to see whether one’s romantic interest was reciprocated was to use friends as conduits of interests (n ¼ 40). Natalia, a 12-year-old, told of this, ‘‘I usually keep it a secret and tell my best friend until like I extremely like him . . . ‘Like-Like’ him. And then I tell my best friend to go tell him . . . .’’ Best friends do not always keep one’s interest a secret. ‘‘ . . . sometimes like your friends like say, ‘Okay I’ll keep it a secret’, but instead they just spill it out to the boy’’ (Isabel, 11 years old). Further, this process can involve multiple peers as related by 13-year-old Hillary: Sometimes when the guy wants to tell a girl that he likes her and they’re too scared, they have their friends ask the girl if they like them too, and then if they say yes, they go and tell them that they like them.

An exchange between James and Alejandro, both 14-year olds, and the facilitator highlighted how quickly this process can take place and how many friends can be involved. James, ‘‘The second that he tells somebody; an hour later, you can ask her if she knows and she’ll say yes. That’s how fast it is.’’ Alejandro, ‘‘Or she’ll walk up to you and ask you if it’s true.’’ James, ‘‘Yeah, that’s how fast it spreads. You can give it an hour and they’ll know.’’ Facilitator, ‘‘So most of the time, the girl will find out that you like her because you told somebody, not because you told her?’’ James, ‘‘Yeah.’’ Facilitator, ‘‘And then they spill the beans?’’ James, ‘‘Yeah. On accident, they will tell their friends, then their friends will tell their friends.’’ Reports of friends revealing secret interests were not uncommon. It appears that when early adolescents disclose a felt attraction to their friends, their friends’ role is to test the waters to see whether the attraction is reciprocated. They can engage in this role even if the romantic interest is supposed to be kept private. At times, this process involved having friends pass notes to a romantic interest. Jessica, an 11-year-old, told of a personal experience with notes: . . . well this was a way of giving it to him, she [a friend] handed it to a different person, and then had that different person hand it to him, so he wouldn’t, so it wouldn’t be straight forward, like here you go.

Kim, a 14-year-old, described a similar process, ‘‘Someone will write an awkward note to someone, and someone will give it to them or have your friend give it to them, and that’s how they’ll find out that you like them.’’ In these instances, the friends still served as conduits but using notes made the process more personal. Using friends to pass on interest punctuates how testing the romantic waters occurred on a social stage where friends were privy to how the relationship progressed. Alternatively, youth sometimes chose strategies for gauging interest that involved only the two parties. Using electronic messaging (n ¼ 38) such as texting or other electronic

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media (i.e., Facebook or Instagram) was a very popular means of accomplishing this. As told by Mark, a 12-year-old, ‘‘Most of the time it’s either Facebook or texting that a girl tells you [that she likes you]. Like, I personally have never had a girl tell me straight to my face, except for this one time . . . ’’ Daniella, a 14-year-old, described a similar process for her age group: They either do it communicating by their friends . . . or it goes through text, like you start texting more and you’re like ‘Oh I like you’ and you’re like ‘Oh I like you, too,’ and that’s when you guys start talking more.

James, a 14-year-old, offered why youth choose to text, ‘‘It’s probably texting because it’s awkward to talk to them in person when they first find out.’’ In fact, James’s description of in-person interactions as awkward (n ¼ 31) was a recurring theme. Attempts to talk face-to-face with someone did not always flow as Derrick (12 years old) narrated. ‘‘[We] Probably communicate with each other a lot by probably trying to talk to them but you stutter a lot, that’s sort of what I do when I’m around my crush.’’ Kate, a 14-year-old, described similar experiences with her friends: . . . whenever they talk in person it’s kind of like a lot of stuttering, and a lot of them saying, ‘umm’, and like pausing and [it] just becomes very awkward. And then they’ll say, ‘Bye, I’ve gotta go’, and then walk off.

Shelly, another 14-year-old, related how stilted conversations can be: I’d be like talking to him, and he like wouldn’t reply like, he basically like stopped the conversation. I was like, ‘Come on, man. What’s up?’ [laughing in the group]. So I would like try to talk, and he would be like, ‘Oh, yeah’. Like wouldn’t engage in it . . . That type of thing, then it’d just stop and the next hour it would start again.

Examining the themes in this section shows that early adolescents put great effort into discovering whether another is interested in them. Peers and texting play strategic roles in this discovery, decreasing uncertainty and minimizing face threat as an outcome. At the same time, actually interacting with that person face-to-face during this process was often painfully awkward. This raises the question of what sustains pursuing romantic interest if face-to-face conversations can be stilted and difficult. The answer to this, as suggested by using friends as conduits of interest, can be found in examining the influence of friends in this process. In fact, as will be evident in the next section, the peer influences played large in the lives of early adolescents as they pursued romantic pairings.

Peer influences As already described, friends were used to test the waters of romantic interest. However, 9 of the 21 sixth graders told of incidences when peers were a direct physical influence in attempts to get partners together. As Natalia (12 years old) related, ‘‘Like sometimes my friends like grab me and push him to me, and then he’s like being like all nice to me and all that stuff until, like it gets really awkward, and then he asks you out.’’ Kiara (12 years

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old) described how friends pushed, and then made evaluative comments, ‘‘ . . . . well mostly everybody else is like pushing them to hug, and then they’re finally hugging. And everybody’s like, ‘Ooo’, and you’re like, ‘Mmm . . . What do I do?’’’ Derick (12 years old) has had a similar experience, ‘‘[Her friends are] sitting there urging us to talk, or hug, or hold hands, and it gets annoying sometimes. Can’t even have like 10 seconds without her friends right there.’’ Alternatively, 11 of the 23 eighth graders related stories about how their friends had a direct social influence but not a physical influence. As Mia (13 years old) told: . . . . friends feel like it’s their duty to like bring the people together, when, in fact, all you did was just say you thought he was cute. Like you didn’t mean for it to go that far . . . but now you’re there . . . and you can’t really like say you don’t like the person because people just started it.

Kim (14 years old) related a similar experience: . . . everybody’s watching so we have to do something . . . it’s like more peer pressure . . . if you don’t hold hands or hug or kiss, people are going to be like, ‘Oh, they’re not really going out,’ even though it’s none of their business actually.

At times, friends’ attempts to influence resulted in poor or unwanted outcomes (n ¼ 10). Kate (14 years old): It’s more like your friends kind of like feel like that they should do this for you because, I mean . . . they think that you really want this. So they try to help you out . . . And it usually just ends up in an awkward mess at the end.

Tyrell (12 years old) offered a similar evaluation when a friend was: talking and like pushing me like, ‘Go, go talk to her’, and ‘Come on, man-up’, . . . when she said she was shy he [the friend] got really mad because he was the one who was trying to set us up. He was like, ‘I worked hard for this and tried to help you’.

Friends also played an active evaluative role in weighing the fit between partners (n ¼ 18). Andy (14 years old) told of how this works: So you guys kind of work together sort of, like it’s a team effort. . . . One [of his friends] would try to be friends [with the girl] or something, and then kind of just relay what they like and see if you guys are perfect or not.

Alejandro (14 years old) related a similar effort by friends: . . . if one of the friends that you are friend[s] with is one of the close friends with your crush, and they know more about her, then they are just trying to give you advice and tell you how she is, or how she really is, like if she’s not playing a role or something to get attention or something. They’ll warn you, or let you know something before you ask her or before you start getting bigger liking feelings for her.

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However, friends sometimes negatively evaluated a romantic interest and then took active steps to interfere with increased involvement. James (14 years old) told of how the girls in his grade ‘‘ . . . tell their friends, and then their friends will spread rumors . . . because they were trying to prevent our relationship.’’ In light of these findings, it is not surprising that relationships gave early adolescents status with their peers (n ¼ 21). Cindy (12 years old) described the social expectations in sixth grade: There is a lot of peer pressure . . . Well, most of the kids when they’re in sixth grade, I think the guys just ask out the girls so that they can go and tell their friends like, ‘Oh well I have a girlfriend and you don’t!’ So just not really like wanting to have one, just to do it to show off and stuff like that to their friends.

The importance of status among one’s friends was echoed by Becky (12 years old), another sixth grader: But I also think this is kind of going back when we were talking about why they are in a relationship. I think they may not really like them but they just tell themselves they like them because they may be popular or everyone is pressuring them to go into a relationship.

Kate (14 years old) provides an insightful commentary about how one’s social status among friends plays a strong role across time: Like, in fourth, fifth, and sixth grade it’s also more like your friends are really like close to you. They’re like standing next to you like listening to your entire conversation. . . . And what I personally think changed is that when you’re in fourth, fifth, and sixth grade you’re very insecure about yourself. You kind of want to stay around your friends where you know you fit in. . . . But now in seventh and eighth grade it’s more like if you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend . . . everyone will like think that you’re not accepted or you feel unaccepted as a person, so you want everyone to know.

Collectively, these findings help explain why youth of these ages pursued romantic interest in light of the fact that so many described actual face-to-face interactions as being awkward. Although relational investigators often focus on what occurs with couples, to do so at this stage of development would result in incomplete views of what is involved. Instead, romantic pursuits at this young age are best understood in the larger social tapestry in which they occur. Friends can facilitate romantic interests by passing on messages of interest. At other times, however, they can push figuratively and literally two individuals into each other’s arms. Moreover, the status achieved among one’s peers for being in a relationship makes these efforts worth pursuing.

Discussion Research to date provides ample evidence that early adolescents frequently pursue romantic pairings and that these pairings are one of the hallmarks of this stage of development (Carver et al., 2003; Meir & Allen, 2009). However, little is known about

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the specific processes involved when young adolescents initiate such pairings (Collins et al., 2009). For example, scholars are yet to investigate the role of peers in youth’s initiation of romantic relationships beyond examining how early adolescents’ membership in same-sex and mixed-sex groups is associated with romantic experiences. Much the same can be said about adolescent use of electronic messaging even though adolescents intensively use text messaging to communicate with peers (Ling et al., 2011; Underwood, Rosen, More, Ehrenreich, & Gentsch, 2012). The findings of our study help address these lacunas in the literature. Specifically, we posed three research questions: Can Bredow et al.’s (2008) First Romantic Encounters model be applied to early adolescents? What is the role of early adolescents’ peers in romantic pursuits? What are the ways that early adolescents use texting when initiating romantic pairings? To address these questions, it is best to take an integrative approach while examining the stages of Bredow et al.’s (2008) model in light of our findings. Stage one of their model centered on individuals deciding whether another person is attractive. Our results clearly show that early adolescents are aware of the importance of attraction in beginning romantic pairings, and they engaged in a range of strategies to gain the notice of others. Girls used makeup, and boys dressed in the right clothes. Enhancing their personal appearance, however, was not the only strategy these youth used. Sixth graders engaged in play-like behaviors, while eighth graders flirted in attempts to be noticed. Our results, therefore, support the application of Bredow et al.’s (2008) model in that young adolescents are very aware that having someone find them attractive is a critical first step toward initiating relationships. Nonetheless, our results suggest that modifying their model to include a social dimension would offer a more complete picture. Early adolescents’ behavior suggests that they believe it necessary to enhance their appearance in order to standout, and possibly compete, in their semi-closed social environments. Our findings align with previous work demonstrating that individuals, including early adolescents, use strategies to attract the romantic attention of others (Moore, 1985; Renninger, Wade, & Grammer, 2004). Thus, Bredow et al.’s (2008) model could be expanded to acknowledge that individuals engage in strategies to be noticed by others, and that these behaviors could additionally contribute to initiating a relationship. In addition, it is important to note that the strategies early adolescents use to gain romantic attention have a more play-like quality than what occurs at later developmental stages, something that Moore (1995) found in her naturalistic observation study of teen girls in a mall. Moore noted that even when early adolescents flirt, their movements are more exaggerated than those of older girls, possibly reflecting their inexperience in interacting on a romantic level with boys of the same age. It may be that enhancing one’s attraction, and engaging in behaviors to attract the notice of others, involves a set of skills. Sixth graders are likely just acquiring these skills and therefore lack mastery. Eighth graders, however, have gained greater mastery of these skills either because of greater personal experience or because of friends’ experiences shared within their peer groups. In the second stage of Bredow et al.’s (2008) model, individuals decide whether to make an overture toward the person they find attractive. Bredow et al. postulate that individuals’ decision takes into account their likelihood of success. If individuals decide to proceed, they then design a strategy for how best to present themselves at stage three.

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Bredow et al. speculate that uncertainty characterizes this part of the relationship initiating process. Knobloch and her colleagues (Knobloch, 2006; Knobloch et al., 2010) have expanded on this notion. They postulate that uncertainty exists because of the lack of clarity about one’s self, the other person, and an uncertain relationship future. Moreover, her work shows that the threat of face loss is related to qualities of the messages sent to a person of interest. Dating requests are less affiliative, relational focused, and explicit thereby reducing this threat. Our findings point to different strategies early adolescents use to gather information and thereby reduce their uncertainty. Some discussed possible romantic interests with friends to see if their friends believed a romantic interest would be a good match. Others used friends as conduits to see whether their interests were reciprocated. The messages friends carried were brief and typically required a simple yes or no response in terms of whether a potential partner would enter into a relationship. In fact, the friends’ role in this process was so engrained into the social structure that close friends sought information about an interest even when that interest was to be kept secret. Often, early adolescents were not upset when their close friends acted on these shared secrets. It was accepted and, to a degree, expected. Thus, peers played an active role in gathering information about potential partners. Moreover, use of this strategy seemed to lessen the threat of face loss when compared to a strategy requiring a face-to-face interaction with possible direct rejection. In light of the role of peers in this process, our findings again suggest a need to expand Bredow et al.’s (2008) model to acknowledge that unattached individuals may make use of friends to reduce uncertainty in terms of evaluating fit and evaluating the interest of a potential partner. This reduction of uncertainty potentially influences the characteristics of future communication with the person of interest. Texting or using other forms of electronic messaging represented another strategy early adolescents used to test the interest of a potential crush. Yet another strategy was to pass notes through a chain of friends. These strategies share certain characteristics. Both allow these youth to control the content of the message sent (Knobloch, 2006). Texting and note passing were also likely strategic choices because these messages contained emotional content. Blair et al. (2013) found that teens preferred texting when messages were emotionally laden. To a degree, both strategies also control potential face loss in that the return message remained private, although this is more likely the case with a texted exchange. When texting, teens controlled how much of the answer they shared with friend, thereby managing face loss in cases of a rejection. Our finding related to early adolescents’ use of electronic messaging in initiating relationships needs to be underscored. Adolescents’ intensive use of electronic communication (Ling et al., 2011) in their daily lives represents a new dimension in how youth relate. Although current scholars have often focused on sexting (Houck et al., 2014) or cyber bullying (e.g., Wang, Nansel, & Iannotti, 2011) among adolescents, these are limited uses of electronic communication. Our findings reveal that early adolescents use electronic messaging when pursuing a romantic interest. However, the role of electronic communication in maintaining a relationship, in managing conflict, or even in ending a relationship are yet to be discovered. Moreover, it may be that electronic messaging continues to be an integral part of relationships as early adolescents develop. This area represents a critical area of study for future research.

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The final stage in Bredow et al.’s (2008) model is rapport building. To build rapport, Bredow et al. speculate that the potential couple engages in self-disclosure, are attentive to each other, and continue to express an interest in the other person. They additionally point out that not all initiations are successful. Our findings suggest that this is a particularly challenging stage for some early adolescents. They described face-to-face interactions as awkward, characterized by stuttering and stilted conversations. It is also noteworthy that youths’ friends sometimes attempted to create opportunities for couples to build rapport by either directly and physically pushing them together, more common among sixth graders, or socially facilitating a pairing in the case of eighth graders. These attempts were not always successful. In light of early adolescents’ reports of gains in social status for being in a romantic pairing, these findings likely point to the overall inexperience of youth with romantic relationships. They seem quite aware of different ways of pursuing a crush, but not all have developed the interpersonal skills needed to sustain interaction once they find that their relational interest is reciprocated. This may explain why so many youth made clear that crushing or like-liking was a stage distinct from actually being in a relationship. It may also explain why many told us that pairings were frequently ephemeral, with some lasting only a few days or weeks. In addition, these findings suggest that Bredow et al.’s (2008) model should be modified to reflect the fact that connections between two interested romantic partners may be sustained by their social environment, rather than by building rapport, at least when considering early adolescents’ romantic pairings.

Limitations We strove to have an ethnically and socioeconomically diverse sample from different family structures. Although we achieved this to a degree, it is important to point out that our school sample came from a single community where all of the adolescents attended the same school system while those from the Boys and Girls club came from an adjoining community. As a result, their responses potentially reflect a homogeneity found within the greater regional community. We also took steps to help ensure that the early adolescents were forthright when discussing sensitive topics. By all appearances, they appeared willing to share their relational experiences within the group. However, this does not mean that they did not hold back on responses that they were not comfortable sharing in a group of peers. Finally, we made it a priority to provide teens an opportunity to discuss the different topics. Nonetheless, we operated under time restrictions that may have limited the adolescents’ ability to fully disclose about certain topics.

Conclusions Collectively, our findings support the application of Bredow et al.’s (2008) model of First Romantic Encounters to early adolescents’ attempts to initiate romantic pairings with one modification. The findings identify the different strategies these youth use when pursuing a romantic pairing. Our findings also highlight the role of uncertainty and attempts early adolescents take to decrease uncertainty and to minimize the threat of face loss in these interactions. At the same time, our results strongly suggest a need to add a

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social dimension to the model. Peers helped evaluate the fit of possible partners, delivered messages of interest, and at times actively created opportunities for interactions. Moreover, we found that electronic messaging plays a critical role in relationship initiation for some youth. This begs the question of what role electronic messaging plays in contemporary romantic relationships. Overall, the findings from this study can provide a rich foundation for future research focused on how early adolescents’ attempts to initiate relationships are related to their future relationship experiences. Acknowledgment The authors would like to thank the teachers and principals from the Gilbert School District and the Chandler Boys & Girls Club who helped with this project.

Funding This project was supported by a Seed Funding grant from the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences and from the T. Denny Sanford School of Social and Family Dynamics at Arizona State University.

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Efficacy and safety of garenoxacin tablets on clinically diagnosed atypical pneumonia: postmarketing surveillance in Japan.

We performed a postmarketing surveillance study to determine the efficacy and safety of the oral quinolone antibacterial agent garenoxacin (Geninax(®)...
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