of the tamily. The whole u? affair of my sister's analysis made me fef unwanted, and unapproved of. My parents solel concentrated on the unfortunate member of oi> family, and in the process created another victitf At one stage my sister was admitted to 1 psychiatric ward in one of the big hospitals i1 Amsterdam. My parents insisted I should cofl> and visit her: it was my duty. I remember mud tinkling of keys, and a large ward with my sistc in a bed, all other patients dressed and scatter* about. She would not speak and turned away frof us. Finally I was sent out. In the corridor an ol' woman came up to me and quietly announced sb was Marie Antoinette. That scared me much mof than the screaming I could hear around me; aftf all, I was accustomed to that. She eventually le' the hospital and resumed her mysterious treatmefl with the analyst. By then once every six weeks: psychiatric social worker would visit my motb* to give 'progress' reports. Unfailingly, if I hap pened to be in, I was sent out at once. One day my sister decided to terminate b* treatment, and that was that. She took once mof to bed, and, soon after, her analyst got a post i' America. Things got very bad indeed, till tfr social worker appeared again and this time su? gested that I also should be seen by a psychiatrist 'Just to make sure.' How could I possibly hav been expected to agree to that after all the scefl* I had witnessed at home; a family torn apart, tof mented and disintegrated by one unfortunate mefl1 ber. The suffering was my sister's; all sympatb should be hers. Nevertheless, I feel all membef of a family ought to be warned, and receive expl| cit explanations of what psychiatric treatment 1 about, and what it possibly temporarily can lea' cut off from the rest
happy
Ml I REMEMBEB GARLA MARKHAM ii-
rtsuaiis
_
a
_l:i jl..j
umiuiiuuu
overshadowed by mental illness A handicapped child is a handicapped family. I don't know who said it, but it is very, very true. I was eight years old when my sister, three years my senior, fell ill with osteomyelitis. It turned out to be an extremely long and very serious disease. She finally recovered but was unable to cope with the legacy of her illness, a physical handicap. Not all that catastrophic, had her previous personality been healthy. Her physical handicap was solely blamed for her abnormal behaviour, and her very neurotic personality was not taken into account. When finally she took to bed, and refused food, it was decided she should undergo a psychoanalysis?a treatment, in those days, only occasionally carried out on a patient so young. My parents, feeling helpless, desperate and uncon-
sciously very guilty, agreed to it. Every day for over three years an ambulance would turn up to take her to the analyst. Neither was anything told to me, nor was anything explained. All I remember is my sister slowly turning into a violent, uncontrolled monster. I witnessed many a terrifying scene, usually aimed at my mother. The household was in perpetual turmoil, the family relationship?poor as it may have been already?now was completely broken down. The atmosphere was nightmarish. I partly blame the analyst who stayed stubbornly behind his double-doored consulting room. He should have realised?which no doubt he did?that only well-balanced and neurosis-free parents would be able to handle this situation without making victims of themselves and the rest of the very
family. My parents
had no time for me as my sister drained them of all their attention and affection. In fact, I was made to feel guilty about my apparent blatant good health, and was told to shut up once and for all. It did me a lot of harm. I became emotionally a neglected child, totally
to.
Family relationships are difficult under the becircumstances, if, however, one member 1 handicapped, physically or mentally, the relation ship within the family deteriorates rapidly: affet tion turns into duty, pity into hate. Such a famil needs professional advice about how to deal wi1' a patient, but also?and just as important?abo11 how to manage the apparently healthy member5 Not all patients turn violent like my sister, neitbe do all parents react like mine: if only the socft worker or the analyst had explained that sort1 strain in the family relationship was to be e* pected. The tedious mystery and hocus pod1 around the analyst aggravates the already datf aged and strained relationship. All this was a long time ago, and I sincere! hope that nowadays analysts, so traditional' loyal to their couch, do leave it sometimes to waf relations about the possible havoc their treatrr>e( of
may create in the home.
happy
Ml I REMEMBEB GARLA MARKHAM ii-
rtsuaiis
_
a
_l:i jl..j
umiuiiuuu
overshadowed by mental illness A handicapped child is a handicapped family. I don't know who said it, but it is very, very true. I was eight years old when my sister, three years my senior, fell ill with osteomyelitis. It turned out to be an extremely long and very serious disease. She finally recovered but was unable to cope with the legacy of her illness, a physical handicap. Not all that catastrophic, had her previous personality been healthy. Her physical handicap was solely blamed for her abnormal behaviour, and her very neurotic personality was not taken into account. When finally she took to bed, and refused food, it was decided she should undergo a psychoanalysis?a treatment, in those days, only occasionally carried out on a patient so young. My parents, feeling helpless, desperate and uncon-
sciously very guilty, agreed to it. Every day for over three years an ambulance would turn up to take her to the analyst. Neither was anything told to me, nor was anything explained. All I remember is my sister slowly turning into a violent, uncontrolled monster. I witnessed many a terrifying scene, usually aimed at my mother. The household was in perpetual turmoil, the family relationship?poor as it may have been already?now was completely broken down. The atmosphere was nightmarish. I partly blame the analyst who stayed stubbornly behind his double-doored consulting room. He should have realised?which no doubt he did?that only well-balanced and neurosis-free parents would be able to handle this situation without making victims of themselves and the rest of the very
family. My parents
had no time for me as my sister drained them of all their attention and affection. In fact, I was made to feel guilty about my apparent blatant good health, and was told to shut up once and for all. It did me a lot of harm. I became emotionally a neglected child, totally
to.
Family relationships are difficult under the becircumstances, if, however, one member 1 handicapped, physically or mentally, the relation ship within the family deteriorates rapidly: affet tion turns into duty, pity into hate. Such a famil needs professional advice about how to deal wi1' a patient, but also?and just as important?abo11 how to manage the apparently healthy member5 Not all patients turn violent like my sister, neitbe do all parents react like mine: if only the socft worker or the analyst had explained that sort1 strain in the family relationship was to be e* pected. The tedious mystery and hocus pod1 around the analyst aggravates the already datf aged and strained relationship. All this was a long time ago, and I sincere! hope that nowadays analysts, so traditional' loyal to their couch, do leave it sometimes to waf relations about the possible havoc their treatrr>e( of
may create in the home.
