AGGRESSION

I N E V E R Y D A Y LIFE

Claude H. M i l l e r

Aggression has a negative connotation. A basis for discussion can be established by consulting the dictionary 1 as a starting point for inquiry: "Aggressiveness--a form of psychobiologic energy, either innate or arising in response to or intensified by frustration which may be manifested by: (1) overt destruction, fighting, infliction of pain, sexual attack, or forcible seizure (2) covert hostile attitudes, covetousness, or greed (3) introjection into one's self (as self-hate or masochism) (4) sublimation into play or sports (5) healthy self-assertiveness or a drive to accomplishment or to a mastery of skills." Each of these dimensions will be explored in some detail. The definition of anger, hostility and aggressive in clin ical terms is: anger--the feeling associated with being displeased; hostility--acting unfriendly; aggressive--acting out anger. When referring to generic aggression, the word wil[ be italicized. It is evident at the outset that what is being discussed is psychobiologic energy, which is one dimension of a life force that propels all of us and drives us in our everyday activities. Our definition soon runs into difficulty, however, as it is uncertain whether this energy is innate or arises in response to, or is intensified by, frustration. Some newborn infants are alert, energetically moving about and exercising their motor apparatus, whereas others are somnolent, subdued, and must be stimulated to get them to suck. At this point in the infant's life, the difference in psychobiologic energy may be innate. Later, as chifdrearing progresses and value systems are learned, there is much more reason to believe that a buildup of unexpressed energy can be intensified by frustration. Many infants are not allowed to crawl, for example. The impact of this lack of experience has consequences in the personality, as well as in the motor-musculature development. This in turn provokes responses from the mother in reaction to an irritable, fretful child. The mother's displeasure solicits reactions from the child, such as rage, agitation, or apathy. We have a certain quantum of aggression to expend daily. Depending on Claude H. Miller, M.D., Fellow, American Academy of Psychoanalysis;Immediate Past President, Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis of the Karen Homey Institute and Center° The American Journal o~ Psychoanalysis © 1979 Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis

Vol. 39, No. 2, 1979 0002-9548/79/020099-14501.00

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the nature and quality of our introjects (or human objects), we can do this in a constructive or destructive way. Berne2 describes this as a need to find structure for our time and to thus achieve stimulation; this writer maintains that discharging aggression is productive of stimulation. Kernberg 3 has shown that a certain stage in the development of internalized object relations must be met before tenderness and constancy are possible. This writer believes that this is also necessary for the constructive expression of aggression. One must always keep in mind that although all destructiveness is aggression, not all aggression is destructive. Ambivalent feelings attach to the unconscious archaic image of the mother: death, conflict, and paralysis versus life, security, and activity. When one is related to the witch-mother, there will be an inhibition of one's ability to expressaggression, and this energy will be transmuted into depression or such other variants as alcoholism, drug addiction, or violence. When one is related to the loving mother, one's energy can be invested in experimentation, exploring the environment, muscular kinesthetic expenditure, and socialization. If the importance of the early mother-child relationship is disturbed, the young animal cannot separate or individuate sufficiently to be able to find constructive channels for the expenditure of aggression. Berne 2 proposed the thesis that living organisms require stimulation. This writer submits that the need to aggress is the active corollary of this thesis. To rephrase this proposition, Berne would say, "one needs to be stimulated by someone;" this writer would say the same thing in an active mode whenever one needs to aggress with someone or against someone (which will provide mutual stimulation). This is a lifelong need that persists; it cannot be "worked through" in analysis. It is a biological imperative that derives from man's being a social animal. In order to be able to aggress freely, one must countenance, embrace, and enjoy one's needs. To do less is to risk disability insofar as one is unable to expend the daily quantum of psychobiologic energy. We must be able to aggress wholeheartedly in order to fulfill our needs and continue to prosper as long as we live. This formulation carries with it the dangers of oversimplification unless we include the additional consideration, "What is this activity in the service of?" No activity is constructive or destructive per se; each must be considered and examined in terms of origins and consequences--only then can we infer the probable intrapsychic and interpersonal import. With this as a preamble, let us proceed to an inquiry into some of the varieties of aggression in everyday life.

Overt Destruction, Fighting, Infliction of Pain, Sexual Attack, or Forcible Seizure Random Motor Activity. A local high school is surrounded by a stream and

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a split-rail fence. With great regularity, several sections of this fence are ripped out and thrown into the brook to float downstream. At times, this is viewed as an expression of free-floating energy or random motor activity. A teen-age boy is there, and the fence is there; it is an easy matter to jettison a rail from the fence into the stream, so he does it on impulse. The impulse occurs, and it is acted out on the spot. Often the peer-group pressure and permission facilitates and enhances this sort of random aggressing. A n i m a l Studies: Natural Modes. Buss4 believed that if the aggression of animals was examined, it would appear at first that there were many different varieties. Upon closer examination, it would be revealed that animals attack each other with a limited arsenal of natural weapons--biting, clawing, stinging, etc. These responses share the common effect of harming another animal; this is the defining property of animal aggression, which is relatively easy to define and identify because it is physical and direct. Wild Norway Rats. Barnett5 studied grouping and dispersive behavior among wild rats. He described three separate items of "agonistic" behavior in response to distinct signals--tactile, visual, odorous, or audible, He observed items of behavior that: (1) attract adult males to each other, (2) cause withdrawal, or (3) tend to prevent or provoke a clash. Barnett believed that agonistic behavior influenced population density, regulated interactions between groups or--in solitary species--between individuals, determined the structure of the groups of colonial species. These may be thought of as functions of agonistic behavior in the sense of effects that have survival value for the species. Mice. Charpentier ° analyzed and measured aggressive behavior in mice. His studies showed: Behavior is very complex and must be thought of as the juxtaposition of at least four components: (1) exploration of cage and partner, and particularly sexual recognition; (2) aimless reactions: hair erection, closing the eyes, tail rattling, which indicate a certain excited state of the nervous system; (3) the true attacks, which are a combination of coordinated and aimed motor activities, and (4) the reactions of the animal under attack, which to a certain extent are independent of the attacks. It is possible to distinguish, as in every behavior, different factors: (1) Internal factors, induced by isolation. The effects of isolation are not immediate, but increase with time, and when the size of the cage decreases. They can inhibit other behaviors, hike sexual behavior in male and female. (2) External factors, produced by modification of surroundings, which are able to moderate the internal factors, territory of the mouse, size of the cage, attitude of the partner. They are related to sensory changes occurring during behavioral activity. (3) The ambiguous aggressive/passive behavior must be considered as two aspectsof the same state. A mouse can change its behavior according to the circumstances, a preliminary passivity modifies but does not suppress the aggressivity. But there is a very strong and permanent inhibitory component in passiveness,an excitatory component in aggressiveness.

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This work is pertinent, as it elucidates the paradoxical situation in which prolonged passivity can serve to dissipate some of the quantum of psychobiologic energy at an individual's disposal. Senseless Violence. Symonds studied the victims of senseless violence. His work since 1974 has shown that the ingratiating behavior of the victim of violence is often interpreted as complicity in the criminal act. Based on his work, he makes the following prophylactic recommendation: "When in doubt--take care of yourself first. It is far better and much safer to appear rude than to take care of another person's feelings. Be safe, not sorry." He concludes: "The principles of psychological first-aid involve the recognition and sharing of what happened, concern and relief for the safety of the victim, and acceptance without reservation, challenge, or question of the victim's behavior under severe stress. It can and should be done by parents and all helping personnel. ''~ The data support the thesis that there are primitive avenues for the dissipation of psychobiologic energy and tend to give credence to the old maxim, "Violence is the last resort of an exhausted mind." It also inspires a paraphrase of Harry Stack Sullivan's observation: "We are all essentially more human than otherwise." We can extend this to assert, "We are all essentially more mammalian than otherwise." Covert Hostile Attitudes, Covetousness, or Greed

Prejudice. Marmor 8 has explored the psychodynamics of prejudice, which he defines as a tendency to generalize from the particular and an imperviousness to logic. Prejudice is particularly likely to develop within the context of families in which parents have been rigid, dominating, and authoritarian and have related to their children on the basis of power and fear rather than of trust and love. Such children repress their impulses--particularly sexual, aggressive, or rebellious ones. Later, they tend to project these impulses onto a scapegoat, thus feeling "cleaner," "better," and "purer" than the scapegoat. Swearing. Swearing is a way of expressing intensity in a semi-socially acceptable way. It can be observed that we swear because we feel better (less tense, miserable, frustrated, helpless, put-upon) after swearing. Also, we can swear as an act of hostility--that is, acting unfriendly--to vent poisonous feelings. This certainly has merit in helping us expend our store of psychobiologic energy. Perception Bias. It is the thesis of this paper that aggression is synonymous with and best defined as psychobiologic energy. We must always inquire, "What is this aggression in the service of?" If we can use our energy freely and completely with versatility and responsibility, it is our elixir; if we don't employ it, it turns into poison and destroys us and/or those around us. Aggression is commonly defined as synonymous with the intent of a perpe-

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trator to do harmS--this is an attributed intent in terms of attribution theory 1°. Causal Attribution. Goldberg 11reviewed the literature in 1976 on the naive perception of causality. His studies support Heider's ~2suggestion that actors give external reasons for their behavior, whereas observers attribute the same behavior to the actor's personal dispositions. This is also mirrored in the observation that friends will endow our actions with benign, altruistic, loving motives, whereas enemies will assign venal, selfish, egotistical and malignant origins to the same behavior. Indeed, it behooves us to surround ourselves with individuals who see our interventions as the former and to give a wide berth to "friends" who see our actions as the latter. Labeling. Proudfoot and Shaver 1° have reviewed the evolution of attribution theory and have indicated the importance of labeling in the recognition of emotion. A state of arousal of the autonomic system with increased expenditure of psychobiologic energy (aggression), manifested by heart palpitations, tremor, face flushing, or natural hormonal changes, can be labeled anything from euphoria, humor, love and sexual attraction, to hunger, anxiety, conflict, anger, and menstrual distress. The outcome in terms of behavior and/or psychic pleasure or pain will in large measure be contingent upon how the arousal is labeled and thus appreciated. Egotism. Snyder ~3studied egotism and attribution, defining egotism as the tendency to make attributions that put oneself in thebest possible light for example, the attribution of good outcomes to one's skill rather than to lucko But one must take credit for the effective aggression for self-esteem to accrue. Silverberg TM concludes that self-esteem was the consequence of effective aggression. If there is a disconnection between the effective aggression and taking credit for the outcome, then there is no addition to the reservoir of self-esteem, and the individual remains as psychically impoverished after the activity as before. Speech. Speech is a uniquely human capacity for the expression of aggression, both healthy and neurotic; although we share with other mammals the need to expend a certain quantum of aggression daily, we have an edge in being able to do so verbally, in addition to physically acting-out. Children. It is a basic psychoanalytic tenet that the childhood experience of an individual determines the adult character structure to a significant extent. If one is fortunate enough to learn socially and culturally acceptable ways (work, play, conversation, social and sexual affiliations, and so forth) to expend the daily quantum of aggression (psychobiologic energy), then the outcome will be enabling and ennobling in a mutual and reciprocal relationship. Money. Making money can be a vehicle for expending the daily quantum of aggression and simultaneously accruing rewards, freedom, and other consequences depending upon the symbolic meanings of the issues. Addictions. Eating. The state of autonomic arousal associated with

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psychobiologic energy can be attributed to hunger. When this is the case,

aggression can be expended in sucking, chewing, and biting. The problem arises when other avenues of discharge are blocked, and eating becomes a compulsive activity loaded with symbolic meaning. Then the eating is no longer primarily in the service of nutritive needs, but rather in the service of dissipating anxiety and stilling conflict. Drinking and Drugs. When the interpersonal relationships are disturbed, impoverished, and nongratifying, an individual can turn to alcohol and drugs to neutralize aggression at the source, before the needs have been differentiated into hunger, desire for contact, sex, and so on. When the psychobiologic energy is thus disengaged, the individual lapses into a somnolent, inert, apathetic state until the effect of the substance wears off. Thumb-sucking and Vomiting. Thumb-sucking is a secret ritual for many young adult females who must control their weight for job purposes (modeling and so forth). Thumb-sucking expends aggression and provides gratification usually prior to sleep. It is often associated with self-induced vomiting as another mode of aggression expenditure and weight control. Genital Activity. Masturbation. Masturbation is a popular mode for expending psychobiologic energy. It has been widely noted as a measure to relieve tension and has been described as "the most popular tranquilizer not mentioned in textbooks." The symbolic meanings of this practice are innumerable, and when masturbation becomes compulsive, it can obstruct the desire to move out to others for gratification. It is, however, the most emotionally economical of sexual expenditures, discharges energy, and requires the taking of minimal interpersonal risk. Homosexuality. The homosexual experience is more daring and more gratifying than masturbation. Because more is ventured, more is gained in terms of both aggression and gratification. Again, the symbolic overtones that make this an exclusive or indiscriminate practice can mobilize anxiety and consequences that require even more expenditure of aggression. Heterosexuality. The heterosexual experience is the most ambitious undertaking and involves the greatest danger of rejection and the greatest likelihood of gratification. Many individuals who once embraced this option later recoil from it to the less demanding practices of homosexuality and masturbation. All of these sexual avenues provide outlets for aggression and some degree of gratification. Alienation. Many authors have observed that the modern alienated personality finds itself unable to react--especially with the demanded emotions of love or concern. This emotional numbness starts as a way to cope with pain but soon extends to all forms of arousal. This has the consequence of requiring intense stimulation to elicit a response and also makes the expenditure of aggression increasingly difficult.

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Sex Games and Non-sex Games. Legman ~5' p' 621observes that the resorting by the man to prostitutes is often due to the fact that the wife resents and resists sexuality, which may long have been a neurotic torment to her. Berne's Games People Play, in his chapters on marital and sexual games, notes that perverted games "may be played between any two people who are trying to avoid sexual intimacy. ''2

Introjection into One's Self (as Self-hate or Masochism) Psychosomatic Symptoms. Bernd makes the succinct observation, "There is a quantum of aggression--if it cannot be expressed, it settles in an organ and crystallizes there. ''1~ This unexpressed and perhaps unexperienced aggression, when it can be verbalized, is often described as dependency, rage, and hatred. Any organ may be involved, but usually a constitutional predisposition is required, in addition to the quantum of unexpressed aggression. Self-chosen Victims. Bender 1T has discovered that a psychological consequence for children who are physically abused in their own homes is a pattern of behavior that perpetuates their role of scapegoat with peers and adults outside their homes. This pattern requires the expenditure of energy (in the only way that is familiar to them) in soliciting responses from schoolmates and teachers, as well as providing a supply of abused feelings for subsequent fantasies. Loneliness. Fidler 18made a nationwide survey in England and determined: 72% of the elderly people said they were not lonely: 20% said they occasionally felt lonely; 7% said they felt lonely most of the time; the remaining 1% "didn't know." She asserted that if loneliness is seen as an opportunity to pursue one's own thoughts and interests without pressure from the environment or another's personality, then it may become "solitude" and be totally acceptable. In the writer's view part of this development is due to the diminishing quantum of aggression in the aging so that the need for social contacts to aggress with and against may be lessened. Anal Activity. In addition to the aggression and the pleasure involved in the act of defecation, there can be other activities designed to amplify and augment anal sensation, such as enemas, colonic irrigation, and anal masturbation. The perianal area is a highly erogenous zone, ideally suited for stimulation by penetration with all manner of elongated objects required to produce the desired results, thereby discharging the accumulated tensions. Urinary Activity. This is somewhat analogous to anal activity; the fffeasure associated with emptying a full bladder is universally acknowledged. The aggressive components and the pleasure of bed-wetting are dear to many children and the bane of many parents.

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Tactile Activity. The skin is loaded with sensory nerve fibers and mediates a multitude of incoming stimuli. The skin itself can become involved in a variety of aggressive elements, particularly with itching, swelling, and weeping. The areas around orifices are particularly sensitive and erogenous. If there are taboos on other forms of aggressive expenditures, the sensory input from the skin can be immense in the form of hives or dermatoses. The most predominant themes in the character structure of individuals with dermatologic complaints are sadism and exhibitionism. Sleeping and Insomnia. Sleeping can be an avenue of disengaging from aggression and simultaneously discharging psychobiologic energy. Increased sleeping may or may not be associated with other signs of depression as mood changes or with a decrease in ideation. Insomnia or chronic wakefulness can in some persons serve the same purposes as hypersomnia. Obviously, wakefulnessmwhen sustained for long periods--can dissipate large quantities of aggression. Impotence and Frigidity. Impotence and frigidity can be a royal road for the expression of aggression, particularly because it is so frequently associated with intense fears and guilts. The universality of sexual fears has been noted by many analysts. Schwartz says, "Some guys are afraid they can't get it up-some guys are afraid they can't get it in--but all guys are afraid that they can't get it out! ''19 Conformity. One of the more popular disabilities in our culture is what I call the "normal neurosis." In this state of personality organization, a person reclines on the Procrustean bed and cuts off any impulses, fantasies, aspirations, or behavior that he deems to be abnormal. He then delights in the fact that he is "normal" because he has streamlined his personality to eliminate the "abnormal." The only problem is he can't understand why he is chronically depressed. A state of radiant good health involves a lusty aggressive quality that often is not accorded "normal" status by our culture. The ability to differ and to take responsibility for being different is a hard-won victory when cultural pressures for conformity and anonymity are so strong. The enhanced sense of well being and of being one's own person will be its own reward, as well as inspiring others around us to want to affiliate with us to participate in the joy and spontaneity.

Sublimation into Play or Sports Fairy Tales. Bettelheim 2° has made a study of fairy tales and has ascertained that the story speaks directly to the unconscious and relieves an individual's anxieties while encouraging boys and girls to overcome their feelings of

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dejection and thus be enabled to aggress more freely with parents and siblings. The children are inspired to look forward with confidence and courage to a time when their true value will be recognized and they will prevail over those who, at the moment, appear to have all the advantages. This supplements one of the jobs of parenting--giving children a feeling for the process of life and growth, and providing "enabling concepts." Verbal Aggression. There is a new professional Journal called MaledictaThe International Journal of Verbal Aggression, 21which specializes in totally uncensored research and collection of verbal aggression and swearwords; insults and terms of abuse; erotica and other emotive and affective utterances; the terminology of body parts; as well as related anthropological, crosscultural and theological studies in all languages, dialects, religions, and cultures; significant research--hitherto neglected or suppressed by Noble Academia--will provide new and startling insights into human nature worldwide. Obviously, the reader of this journal will be able to aggress vicariously, besides getting some consensual validation for the impulses recorded in the publication. Children's Jokes. Zumwalt 22 made an analysis of children's jokes dealing with adult sexuality. She describes the aggression and destructiveness in the joke about a little girl who wants to take a bath with her father. The father attempts to avoid the aggressive curiosity of his daughter by telling her to do it with her mother. The little girl does not accept the alternative and threatens to scream if she does not get her way. She wants to have sexual knowledge of her father. The father gets into the tub with her, and during the bath she discovers his penis, which he refers to as his "dolly." The child, through a progression of sexually aggressive acts, succeeds in getting into bed with her father and plays with his "dolly." Her gentle touches change the doll into a bird that spits at her. She punishes this aggressive action of the father's dolly-bird by breaking its neck and crushing its eggs. The father--who should have maintained moral order--submitted to the demands of his daughter. His passivity allows this sexual encounter to progress beyond the boundaries of voyeurism. The innocent and ignorant daughter thus castrates him; but at the same time that the daughter is innocent and ignorant, she is sexually aggressive and demanding. She becomes the destructive virgin. The child has succeeded in destroying both her father's sexual prowess and her mother's sexual pleasure. The mother and daughter have switched places, and the results are disastrous. Gaining sexual knowledge of her father, she punishes him for it and eliminates the possibility of an active sex life between her mother and father, all in one night and all under the veil of innocence. Rudeness. Duckat 2ahas devoted his attention to rudeness, which he defines as a loud declaration of contempt for others. Rudeness also says in effect: "To hell with you; only I have any importance." This is semisocially acceptable

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behavior. Timid, inhibited patients are encouraged to do one rude thing every day, just for the practice. In this way they develop a capacity to be embarrassed. The fear of being embarrassed constitutes as much of an insurmountable barrier for the phobic neurotic as the eight-inch step does for the physically handicapped individual confined to a wheelchair. It has been this writer's experience that stereotyped inhibited behavior can be glorified and sustained for years under the aegis of "being nice." The paradox then emerges, "if I'm so nice, why am I so depressed?" Exercise. Leonard 24 has described the benefits of running as a mode of deploying aggression. He asserts, with good evidence, that if you can bring yourself to jog, swim, or in some other way increase your heart rate for a steady 30 minutes at least three times a week, you will, within a very few months, begin to receive a series of delightful gifts; you'll eat less, have more energy, your pulse will slow, you'll possibly stop smoking. Your desire for alcohol will likely diminish. You'll feel better generally, more sensuous, more a part of nature. Folkins 2s has studied the effects of physical training on mood and finds that improvements in physical fitness are accompanied by improvements on two mood measures--anxiety and depression. This is accounted for on the basis that more aggression is being expended in muscle contraction, so less energy remains to be transmuted into anxiety and depression. Crying. For many people, crying is an excel lent aggression outlet. There is an old folksaying from Newfoundland: "A good cry is as good as a good laugh." Crying serves to dissipate psychobiologic energy and often has the interpersonal consequence of soliciting supportive and/or critical feedback from those around us. Humor. Humor is the lubricant that facilitates human interaction. Many painful insights can be integrated with the use of humor that could not be assimilated so well or so readily without it. The helper must be in touch with his aggression to be able to use forceful interventions in a benign way in making a stand for health. It is not only all right to aggress with our fellows, it is imperative that we do so, and on a daily basis. Humor facilitates this sort of constructive interaction. Humor cannot be seen as constructive per se. The question we must ask ourselves is, "What is this intervention in the service of?" Humor can be used to ridicule, mock, vilify, debase, and humiliate; while this certainly releases stores of aggression, it may also alienate us from our associates, resulting in loneliness and isolation. Humor can also be employed to stimulate, excite, arouse, titillate, and endear us to our associates; this variety of aggression endears us to our fel lows and will assure a continuing input of companionship and satisfaction.

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Healthy Self-assertiveness or a Drive to Accomplishment or to Mastery, Especially of Skills

Complaining. One of the popular ways of self-assertion is complaining (including bitching and moaning). We must learn how to complain effectively, just as we must learn every other skill; this becomes complicated if at some point in our development we placed taboos on moaning and complaining and then proceeded to see ourselves as superior because we do not complain. We have thus made a virtue out of a disability, have lost a measure of versatility, and have closed off an avenue for the release of aggression. The ability to complain successfully and often will help to keep the reservoir of self-esteem filled to the brim; because self-esteem is the result of effective aggression and taking credit for it, this is a good daily source of self-esteem. Coping Behavior. One of the major outlets for aggression in everyday life is coping behavior. Hamburg 26 has enumerated seventeen examples of common stressful situations, some of which are: separation from parents in childhood, illness and death of parents, marriage, and retirement. He concludes, "Under stressful conditions, men seek information about the following questions: (I) How can the distress be relieved? (2) How can a sense of personal worth be maintained? (3) How can a rewarding continuity of interpersonal relationships be maintained? (4) How can the requirements of the stressful task be met, or the opportunities be utilized?" All of the techniques elaborated to cope with stress are a consequence of lifelong learned behavior which is acquired in the context of a sustained relationship. Many of us are inadequately socialized, because we have not learned the skills to interact effectively in a variety of situations (particularly because many of them are new) and over a prolonged period. The more aggression we have at our disposal for investment, the more we will be able to cope with novel circumstances; lack of aggression constitutes a handicap involving inadequate responses to stimuli and eventuating in diminished self-esteem (which derives from effective aggression and taking credit for our efforts). Growth is a series of stages of recognition of what we cannot have. Obviously, this recognition must occur concurrently with the integration of what we can have. Communications. In a highly organized society, which necessitates the relinquishing of much personal freedom and the curtailment of much physical expression, possibly the bulk of our aggression is invested and dissipated daily in communication, including talking, listening, reading, and writing. Each of these activities can be utilized to help channel our quantum of psychobiologic energy. Versatility. One of the hallmarks of the ability to respond appropriately

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over a wide spectrum of situations is versatility. When one subscribes to the dictum, "Nothing human is alien to me," then one must embrace the seamy side of one's human nature, as well as the bright and shiny attributes. Parish 27 compiled a personal attribute inventory consisting of 50 positive and 50 negative adjectives; some of these were: active, affectionate, irritable, rude, self-centered, and tactful. To the extent that one is in touch with the spectrum of one's capacities, one must stand indicted as possessing all of the positive and negative attributes at least as potentials, even if they are not expressed behaviorally much of the time. The response will be determined by the circumstances, unconscious symbolic determinants, and one's mood of the moment. No one feels the same about anything for more than 15 minutes at a time. This raises the issue of inner consistency, which means responding consistently with the way one feels at the moment and accepting the consequences. Mature Love. Love is simply the willingness to have a sustained relationship with someone. In the context of versatility, this will embrace a variety of feelings, thoughts, behavior and responses. Kernberg 3 refers to this as the "tolerance of ambivalence" when he writes that the capacity for fully experiencing concern for the loved person (which underlies an authentic, deep human relationship) presupposes the integration of love and hatred--that is, the tolerance and ambivalence--and that such ambivalence--which continues as a feature of stable, meaningful human relations--is activated in sexual intercourse, in which sexual and aggressive excitement are blended. This ability to relate with versatility and intensity over a prolonged period provides a magnificent outlet for aggression--sexual and otherwise--and a chance to obtain stimulation in addition to intimacy. This constitutes a panoply of responses derived from man's being a social animal. Work Attitudes. For most adults, work constitutes the major arena for the expression of aggression. Depending on the internalized attitudes, this expenditure will be accompanied by satisfaction and/or dissatisfaction. If one is operating under the auspices of enabling concepts, the amount of aggression deployed can be as great whether one is cooperative or surly and rebellious. The personal attributes--whether courteous or antagonistic--the worker adopts toward superiors or subordinates requires and allows the emergence of aggression. The ability to employ socially acceptable alternatives is the consequence of having learned enlightened social and work skills in the context of a sustained relationship. Healthy Outcomes. Meyer, 28one of the foremost psychiatrists that America has produced, likes to refer to any one individual as an "experiment of nature." Depending on a myriad of forces--both biological and sociological-the outcome will be determined. As anyone who has worked in a laboratory is painfully aware, most experiments are not notable successes;

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some blow up, some are ruined by error or neglect, some give equivocal results, and, rarely, one seems to turn out just right. So, too, with humans; some individuals, our heroes, are embodiments of struggle, perseverance, undertaking, faith and love. It behooves us to rally round them, for they have discovered the secret of investing aggression in an enlightened, enabling, and ennobling way. Humans need role models in every stage in life. Although we cannot choose our parents, we can choose our heroes and those we select to emulate. If we make wise choices, we increase the likelihood of a happy denouement. Support Systems. It is crystal-clear that we are all dependent; the question is, "On whom and for what?" In view of the fact that humans are needy, it is prudent to have many suppliers. One needs a shoemaker, a tailor, a barber, a grocer, etc. to look after one's basic needs for food, clothing, and shelter. Ideally, we are aggressive enough and circumspect enough to surround ourselves with steady, reliable suppliers. One of the perils or myths that prevails is, "If I could just find the right individual, one person could be my all-purpose supplier." This hearkens back to childhood when one's needs were less differentiated, and Mother could supply most of them. An adult in our complex society requires an extensive support system in order to thrive. If one's oxygen line is pinched, one turns blue; if one's status needs are not met, one gets depressed. The aggression, imagination, and creativity that one employs in constructing and maintaining a widespread support system will determine whether one will thrive or perish. The wider one's range of affiliates and tracking stations, the better one's chances of getting feedback, particularly negative feedback, so that one can know where one is and change course appropriately and at the proper moment.

References

1. Webster's Third New International Dictionary. Springfield, Mass.: G. C. Merriam Company, 1967. 2. Berne, E. L. Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships. New York: Grove Press, 1964. 3. Kernberg, O. Object Relations, Theory and Clinical Psychoanalysis. New York: Psychotherapy and Social Science Book Club, 1976. 4. Buss,A. Aggression Pays. (Unpublished manuscript.) University of Texas, 1975. 5. Barnett, S. A. Grouping and dispersive behavior among wild rats. In S. Garattini (Ed.), Aggressive Behavior. Amsterdam: Excerpta Medica, 1969. 6. Charpentier, J. Analysis and Measurement of Aggressive Behavior in Mice. [n S. Garattini (Ed.), Aggressive Behavior. Amsterdam: Excerpta Medica, 1969. 7. Symonds,M. Victims of senselessviolence. Psychiatric Worldview, 1: 1-3, 1977. 8. Marmor, J. The psychodynamics of prejudice. The Five-Minute Hour. Ardsley, NY: Geigy Pharmaceuticals, 1977.

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Aggression in everyday life.

AGGRESSION I N E V E R Y D A Y LIFE Claude H. M i l l e r Aggression has a negative connotation. A basis for discussion can be established by consu...
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